NOTE: Nearly all of my previous writing experience comes from technical writing so be gentle with me. I am exploring humor and creative writing as well as interesting informational news and articles on social media. I can’t be serious all the time!

I must be delusional because I thought that somehow everyone that participates on social network sites had to be the nicest people in the world (and for record, most people are). I guess I am one of those that try to see the good in everyone.

I come from a long history of participating on online communities so I *should* know better. Back before the advent of the Internet, there were dial-up bulletin boards (BBS’es) and when the Internet starting gaining momentum there were the Usenet newsgroups and online forums. Everywhere I went, I found trolls, lot’s of them.

I’m not talking about beloved fairytale characters or monsters of forgotten lore, but of humans that do despicable things online to other human beings.

You know the type. They make negative comments that will make the veins in your forehead pulse, and cause you to say things that you never ever say aloud.

I can honestly say several times I nearly lost my religion and I snapped. It’s not that I am a mean person, quite the opposite in fact, sometimes I must vent before my head explodes. Of course, I end up looking like an utter idiot, and unfortunately, that is exactly what the troll’s want. It feeds them. It makes them happy. It makes their life complete.

It’s one of the darned if you do or darned if you don’t kind of things if you fall into it.

I am not sure, if trolls gain their self-worth from pissing people off or if hurting others makes them feel superior. Maybe it’s an ego trip for them, one thing is for sure trolls will make you pull your hair out.

It seems that the better the day you are having the more they harass you. It’s like they know you are enjoying the day far too much and need taking down a notch or two. Maybe they have “Trolldar” (radar for trolls), I don’t know but they do seem to know who they can frustrate the most.

As a child in grade school, I was often bullied. I was a thin gangly kid, you know, the type that are inevitably picked on. Where I grew up most of the neighborhood children where a couple of grades ahead of me. I was a minority, so I had to watch my back constantly.

In the real world (as a child) I could physically defend myself. I had an old painted metal lunch box that came in handy when dealing with bullies. The lunch box had many dents and dings and the bully’s heads had many stitches and scars. I was the battling lunch box kid, I had no mercy on bullies. It didn’t take too many confrontations with me and my lunch box that the bullies turned to easier, softer targets.

Of course as an adult I can’t pick up my trusty lunch box and start swinging at the bullies (i.e. trolls). Being that I am grown up now I am expected to behave like an adult whether I like it or not. For the most part, I can say that I do the right thing.

It’s too bad that they don’t make some sort of virtual taser button that you could hook to a computer and press when the trolls start in on you. Just imagine for a minute pressing a button and shocking the idiot on the other end causing problems. That would be instant gratification.

If I could figure out how to build one I could make a million dollars overnight, it would be an instant Amazon.com best seller. Of course trolls would use it to annoy people, so it would still be a lose-lose situation.

Back the real world. The problem is that there is no easy fix for dealing with trolls; they will always be around wherever people congregate online. No matter where you go or what you do, there will always be a couple of trolls hanging out waiting for their next victim.

Over the years, I have found a couple of things that work besides online retaliation

1) Ignore them, this takes quite a long time and often requires a group effort to dissuade them from acting as they do

2) Confront them carefully and with care privately via email or messaging. You have to be careful though not to put them on the defense. Ask them in a non-threatening way why they have singled you out. Tell them how their behavior makes you feel, ask them to put themselves in your shoes and ask them how they would feel by being treated the same way. Note: this only works on certain types of people, some just don’t care, period.

3) Kill them with kindness. Use positive affirmations every time they make negative or derogatory comments. Don’t give up, keep doing it. If nothing else, it will be apparent to others that you are the better person. This may end up shaming the troll over time. After while they will see that you won’t succumb or stoop to their level. At least it won’t give the troll any ammunition to continue the battle.

4) Trollbaiting. I don’t generally condone this, but I have seen it work on online forums. This requires a large group of users to be effective. Every time the troll strikes everyone in the group starts commenting and baiting the troll, it keeps the troll so busy, reacting that it minimizes their efforts to cause problems elsewhere. Have some fun with them. Generally, after being baited a couple of times, the troll will move on and cause problems elsewhere.

Of course, there are people that are just plain mean. It is their nature and they enjoy hurting others, both online and off. They were born that way and there isn’t much anyone can do about such people. My best advice is to ignore them, they aren’t worth the frustration and aggravation.

If all else fails I will let you borrow my trusty metal lunch box.

Do you have a creative or fun way of dealing with online trolls? I would love to read about it!

Copyright 2008, Allen Harkleroad, All Rights Reserved

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